There is A Person Deserving Your Love: YOU!
My Other Work/s:
- Diplobugs: Be Kind to Yourself
It is hard work being an adult. There are constant demands on your time, energy and emotions from many different people. Your spouse, your children and your boss all want to be the focus of your attention at all times.
Let me start this with a quotation from Oscar Wilde. “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." To that I would add, “to hate or disapprove of yourself is the beginning of a life-long nightmare.” Basically, you are one of the first people you meet in your life! And, the only one you will definitely have a life- long life relationship with.
The Bible commands us to “love others as yourself." This clearly states that your relationships with other people reflect your relations with your own self. Just think of it and be honest with yourself for a moment: do you tend to judge other people? If so, most likely you also tend to be judgmental of yourself.
Judging others is a good way to relieve your own guilt and feeling of failure. If you can make yourself believe you are better than them, you can restore your feeling of wellbeing. I think you would agree that this is not the way to achieve self-validation.
If you can learn to love yourself for who you are, you can then stop from judging others and learn to accept them, too. There are two concepts at opposite ends that we sometimes find ourselves struggling with. One tells you that self-love is egoism and it is not acceptable. The other one exults self-love above all else. As it often happens, truth may be somewhere in between those two extremes.
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Here is another good quotation for you: “Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.” These words belong to William Shakespeare. They are true, too.
Self-love is not an abstract thing. It has some very real consequences in our lives, the same as self-neglect. If you cannot maintain a balance between your personal and social priorities, your needs and the needs of others, you risk living an unhappy life.
If you put yourself last and do not take good care of yourself, you become unhappy and most likely unhealthy, too. So, if you have difficulties learning to love yourself on an emotional level, try to start from the other end.
Start showing yourself love through physical care.Give yourself enough rest and sleep. Care for yourself with eating healthy food and working out. It works both ways you know. If you can start loving yourself emotionally, this would eventually lead to physical manifestations of such love. And, if you care for your body, you will develop a favorable emotional attitude towards yourself.
One of the aspects of self-love is building a wall around your personality, and I mean that in a positive way. You should not look at yourself as others view you. They do not really know you; I don’t think anybody really can, no matter how long you have been together. Granted, there may be exceptions and that is why such a connection is very special as it is rare. Bottom line, you should not depend on the opinions of others to form your self-perception.
So make a corner inside yourself, where others have to knock to enter. Guard it and grow your own self-esteem in it. So when the time of testing comes, you stand unshaken by the thoughts and words of others.
2011 Moira G Gallaga ©
